allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
We were destined to go to rehab together
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
