i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I need water and some morals
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
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