drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize