Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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