i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
