She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
