the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
