I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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