dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
So gin and wine won't be happening again
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
