I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Randomize
