Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
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