I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
ttyl tear gas
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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