Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
