yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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