The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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