there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
