yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
