You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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