That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
