I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Randomize
