Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
this will be a night to untag.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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