i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Your topless pictures make me question reality
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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