i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Randomize
