what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize