I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I am available for nakedness
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
