i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
