Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize