Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
