you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
