I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
