Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
