i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
that's an acceptable place to lick
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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