no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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