I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Randomize
