so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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