There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
