I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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