So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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