Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize