I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Randomize
