she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
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