If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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