on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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