he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Randomize
