Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
