lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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