Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
