So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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