So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
