she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
