I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
