oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
