You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
and she was petting her beer can
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
you told grandpa to call you daddy
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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