At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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