What a fucking waste of an outfit
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
