im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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