seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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