Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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