Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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