remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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