what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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