FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Randomize
