Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
we should paint friendship bongs
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
